It was a blistering afternoon, the kind where even the shrubs seemed to sigh in the heat. As I watered the garden, I noticed a glimmer of blue—a dragonfly hovering in the mist, delicate wings catching the sunlight. Drawn to the cool spray, it darted in and out, pausing for sips of water. Its presence felt like a small blessing, a reminder of nature’s beauty and resilience.

Then, as if on cue, a wasp appeared. Its sharp movements and reputation made me instinctively wary. My first thought was to turn off the hose, to protect the dragonfly and deny the wasp. After all, wasn’t the dragonfly “good” and the wasp “bad”? Didn’t the dragonfly deserve my kindness more?

But as I stood there, hose in hand, I realized I was facing a choice far bigger than watering shrubs. I was confronting my own internal narrative about kindness, judgment, and who is “worthy” of compassion.

The Dragonfly and the Wasp: Who Deserves Kindness?
It’s easy to extend kindness to those we like, those who seem gentle, grateful, or familiar. The dragonflies in our lives—friends, family, or even strangers who cross our paths with a smile—invite our generosity.

But what about the wasps? The people who sting us with harsh words, who act from pain or anger, who seem undeserving in our eyes? It’s tempting to withhold kindness, believing we’re justified in our judgment.

Yet, if I turned off the water, neither the dragonfly nor the wasp would benefit. My desire to judge who “deserved” kindness would have denied both.

Kindness as a Mindset, Not a Transaction
True kindness isn’t a transaction—it’s a reflection of who we are, not who others are. When we make kindness conditional, we limit our own growth and reinforce the very judgments that keep us stuck. We become gatekeepers of compassion, measuring out drops instead of letting it flow freely.

But when we choose kindness as a mindset, we rise above the need to judge. We become the source, not the scorekeeper. We create a world where compassion isn’t rationed, but abundant.

Living Your Values, Not Your Fears
In that moment, I decided to keep the water flowing. Not because the wasp had earned it, but because I wanted to be the kind of person who chooses kindness—regardless of who’s watching. I realized that every act of kindness, no matter how small, shapes my own internal world. It’s not about who “deserves” it, but about who I choose to be.

Just as our internal dialogue shapes our reality, our actions—especially the ones no one sees—shape our character. Kindness, extended without judgment, is a daily practice. It’s not always easy, and it may not always be reciprocated. But it’s always transformative.

The Ripple Effect
That day, the dragonfly and the wasp both drank from the same stream. I like to think that, in some small way, my choice made a difference—not just for them, but for me. Each time we choose kindness over judgment, we create ripples that extend far beyond what we can see.

WORDS CREATE WORLDS. When you choose kindness—especially when it’s hard—you’re not just watering shrubs. You’re watering the roots of your own growth, and the seeds of a more compassionate world.

Reflection:
Who are the dragonflies and wasps in your life? Where are you tempted to ration your kindness, and what might change if you let it flow freely?

If you’re ready to cultivate a mindset of kindness and transform your internal narrative, I invite you to join me for a free clarity call or download my resource, “Six Questions for More Clarity.” Let’s water the world together—no judgment required. (visit bethefirefly.com for more)